15.6.13

Would 16 year old you be happy with where you are now?

I think that's quite possibly the longest title I've ever written for a blog post. The idea for this came to me earlier on today at work when an old school friend walked past with his parents, whose father just so happened to be our headteacher as well. On their way back, said old headteacher stopped and we had a wee chat, mostly about what I'd been up to after I left school.

I have to admit I felt a slight twinge of disappointment in myself. Here stood a man, who for 5 years helped me, guided me and wished me well when I left school to go to university. And here I was stood before him, without a degree, without finishing my further education with an avergae joe job. Part of me felt like I'd let him down and I felt quite guilty about that.

At 16 I was hellbent on wanting to become a journalist. I can't even remember where the idea came from, I'm sure I just plucked it out the air one day and thought 'yes. I'll do that'. I enjoyed English and Modern Studies, I was good at them, unlike maths (let's not go there) so logic dictated that a career in journalism would be a good move. The only downfall was I was never very confident in my writing, I'm still not but I've learned to accept it.

Of course university never quite went to plan. It was actually probably one of the worst moves I ever made, that's where my downward spiral began really. I have a rather addictive personality, I'm not trying to use that as an excuse or anything but once I get hooked on something, that's it! (I've learned to curb it these days, or get hooked on good things, like walking!). I discovered alcohol at uni, much like most students (although most students were at least legally old enough to drink it!) I got some pretty stress inducing news whilst I was there and I'm pretty sure that's where my mental problems kind of started.

I've had my ups and downs since then, some of which I've spoken about on here and some of which I haven't. I choose not to focus on the negatives these days, I've had many years of doing that so it's time to look for the positives in life!

Career wise, I don't think 16 year old me would be too impressed with 24 year old me. If I had managed to stick out at uni, I would have had a degree years ago and quite possibly a job in journalism or closer to it than I am now. Although if I had stuck at uni, I wouldn't have gone on to have my beautiful girls. There are always what ifs!

My life didn't turn out like I'd planned but then whose has? Do you have the job you wanted when you were 16? I'll be honest, what with today's recessions and shops closing all the time, I feel lucky that I even managed to get this job that I'm doing now! Sure it's not what I planned for at 16 but I'm earning a living and that my friends is quite a marvellous feeling.

I feel I should apologize for this post as a) it's all text, I felt if I added pictures it might devalue the point I'm trying to get across,  b) I don't think I have really got my point across, like I said earlier not all that confident in my writing and finally c) I don't think this post is very well laid out, it's more thoughts written down in no particular order.

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